HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR PUPPY |
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in garbage.
3. Remove puppy from garbage and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount and focus camera.
6. Go find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place pup in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after pup on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off pup with the other.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Throw out cat and put peroxide on scratch on pup's nose.
12. Put ashtray and magazines back on coffee table.
13. Try to get cute expression by squeaking toy over head.
14. Replace your glasses on your face and fish camera from under sofa.
15. Jump up in time to grab pup by scruff and say "no, outside".
16. Call spouse to clean up mess.
17. Fix a good stiff drink.
18. Sit back in lazyboy and resolve to teach pup 'sit-stay' first thing tomorrow.
(email@example.com. Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2005 1:49 PM).
Colby Glass, MLIS